Good morning. I have just arisen for a 1A which in my parlance means too bloody early for me. It's amazing I can see the computer screen to type this in as my eyes feel like they would resemble two piss-holes in the snow. Charming, yes I know...It's too early for me to be polite. I wonder if I'll get to work Triage today. It's Sunday, so it's a possibility. Perhaps 30% of the cases coming through the door are genuinely crook, and benefit from a bit of treatment/and/or investigation into what ails them. The other 70% (is it really that much, am I being too early-morning-cynical? I shall ask some of my comrades-in-broken-arms today) are what? ~ I don't know...bored? Lonely? That other "L" word...?
Examples: "My brain is falling into my neck" Hmmmm....
"I've been thirsty for 2 years" I liked the response that one got..."Have you tried having a drink sir?"
"My baby is restless, grizzles and won't sleep"
- HELLO, It's a BABY...didn't anyone hand out trouble-shooting references when these people popped out their progeny? Look under "normal behaviour" (Of course I do not say these things out loud, the parents are usually first timers, sleep-deprived and of course, genuinely concerned)
Let's see...oh yes one of my favourites: "I've just been bitten by something & I think I'm having an anafellatio (sic) reaction!"
Well, time for another coffee I think, before I have to think about moving out the door! I will transcribe some more reasons people choose to spend up to 3 hours of their time in our waiting room on a nice sunny day soon...perhas devote a whole page to it. As the man said in that TV cop-show, "Take care out there!" :-)>