Sunday, February 29, 2004

Loss and Love and stuff...

Had a fellow in the other day who had O.D'ed on alcohol and some we were trying to sober him up and determine the amount of damage he had caused to his liver by overloading it with medications (we couldn't ascertain exactly what pills he had taken) Turns out his boyfriend had left him and he wanted to end it between trying to stop him from jumping out of the trolley and hurting himself some more, I had a little discussion with him that I thought I would share with you. Everybody hurts at some stage of their life or another. Everybody.
No-one can understand what another person is going through in times of pain and sorry because each individual's situation is just that, individual and subjective to one's own personal experiences, history and peculiar emotional and mental make-up. So no-one can exactly feel and understand other peoples pain, but some can empathize, as most, if not all of us, have had to carry our own burdens of pain, sadness and loss at some stage of our lives.
Some losses are inevitable. All of us will die, eventually. Our hearing and vision may fade with age. Our children will grow up and change into young adults. That favoured possession will break, get misplaced or stolen, and so on...In regards to those who we love and would have love us in return ~ well, sometimes we have our feelings reciprocated. Sometimes not. The thing is; to base your own personal happiness on other peoples feelings and emotions, actions and reactions, is a very risky thing.
It may be better to hope for a return of love given, but prepare for the possibility of indifference at best or outright rejection at worst...Frank Zappa said in one of his songs "Broken Hearts are for Assholes" which I feel is a bit harsh. Broken Hearts are certainly for people who may not be able to see beyond the immediate horizon, to a new day where one may wake up feeling whole in oneself and meet someone totally new, exciting and fantastic...
I have had many heartbreaks, losses of people I thought I couldn't live without. Guess what? I'm still alive! I look upon my past as leading me to the now where I am actually with who I am meant to be with NOW. Perhaps she will break my heart one day, I certainly hope not. Perhaps I will break hers...I certainly don't plan to. Who knows?
In situations of unrequited love I often remember the quote:
"There are two great tragedies in life ~ one is not getting what your heart desires, the other is getting it"
I wonder if any of what I talked about made sense to him (my patient) at the time...I may never know. Does it make any sense to anyone else, or am I just full of it?


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